Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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