There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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