Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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