Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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