Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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