Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
