no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
