4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
