I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
