She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
