Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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