speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
