Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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