Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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