a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
