What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
