do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am one with the molecules
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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