I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
