morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
