is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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