Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
