Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize