is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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