We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
