I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
