Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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