didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize