Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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