shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
