i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
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I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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