you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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