i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
