Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
