How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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