I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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