i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
