I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
