Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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