when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
