ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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