I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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