it hurts more in the daytime
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
