Cold hands, warm shart.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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