...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
