I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
