I look better un-naked...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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