Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
