....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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