week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
