I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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