Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
