you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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