brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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