Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
