How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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