ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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