No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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