Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
