now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
