it hurts more in the daytime
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
