i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
